Thursday, 7 August 2014

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Ironically, not the worst Micheal Bay film I've watched this year. Thanks TF4 for setting the bar so low. 

So when I first heard the news Micheal Bay was directing the TMNT film, I was horrified because this man had already butchered Transformers; although at this point it's more like he's butchered it and is peeing on the corpse, and frankly, he's a pretty shitty director. However, I'm going to say this...actually wasn't that bad. 

I'm not saying the film is great or anything. It just didn't totally suck or wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be. And after TF2-4, I imagined it was going to be pretty bad. But yeah, it's surprisingly a passable film in the sense you can go to the cinema and watch it and be entertained without cringing. Yes, it's sort of a back-handed compliment but it's the only one I have for the film. 

One thing I found weird was how different Megan Fox looked compared to Transformers. It was one of those moments I had to go "Wait, is this really her?" But while her looks may have changed, her acting ability really hasn't. It's actually one of the main gripes I have about the show, which is that Megan Fox probably can't headline a show by herself. She makes/made for good eye-candy but as the main star? Yeah...not buying that. And I say main star because she has more screen time than any of the other turtles. 

Speaking of the turtles, they're huge. And there's also a huge size difference between them. Michelangelo is the smallest; and average human sized, and Leonardo stands almost a full head taller than Mike. And then Raphael stands almost a full head taller than Leo. That's a huge difference in size. The CGI for them was decent, unlike the CGI for Splinter, who always looked too waxy/glossy to actually be a real giant talking rat. It just looks like they skimped out on his CGI. 

I wasn't too fond of Shredders new outfit. I have no issues with the technological part of it, though I wouldn't have minded Shredder being a kick-ass warrior the old fashioned way either. It just seemed too bulky in quite a few scenes, and at this point it's really less iron-man suit but more warmachine style suit. You might as well just equip guns instead of giant throwing knives to the suit. 

Plot holes? Yep, there are plenty. Like the fact that Splinter taught himself ninjitsu from a book that had been discarded in the sewer. Ignoring the fact that ninjitsu isn't really about fighting and more about hiding/stealth/espionage, this is kinda utter bullcrap. Then there's the fact April O'Neil was the one who saved the turtles from being burnt to death in a building while ignoring the fact her father was nearby. Yes, save the turtles, ignore the dad. 

And the whole villain-wants-to-take-over-the-world plot? That was really bad. It just seemed so nonsensical and contrived. Assuming they have a sample of the virus they want to spread to everyone, why would they need the turtles blood to make an antidote from it? You could just reverse-engineer it from the virus and it wouldn't take 16 FRIGGING years. 

The fight scenes were okay but not great. It really feels like they could have used someone who was better to choreograph the fight scenes. To be honest, I actually fell asleep for a moment during one of the fights because it was punch punch punch, ok, more punching and kicking, ok. 

Overall, this film is a watch-and-forget type of film. Once you've watched it, you'll probably forget it.